Family Birthday

(If someone can tell me how to rearrange pics in the order I want them after I've uploaded them to Blogger, do be a dear and TELL ME! )

Granny covering James' eyes to hide the surprises.
Opening something.

Sitting proudly on his Birthday Bicycle. It's the last time he's been on it. He's way afraid of it :(

Cheesy family time.

Cheesy James time.

Blowing out the candles

Other cheesy people.

James with one of his favorite presents. It's a giant 24 piece puzzle.

The Latest

We went over to walk around the mall this evening.

James: What does that sign say?

Me: Barnes and Noble Booksellers

James: That's a NAUGHTY word!

Me: What word?

James: BOOKSELLERS!

Me: Um, are you sure?

James: Yeah, trust me.

*******

Later, inside the mall

Me: Ooh, I like this***. Tell Daddy to buy it for me for Mother's Day.

James: But when is James' Day?

Me: Every day is James' Day.

James: Yeah, I like that.

***Is something I want, which Ben will have to drag James around the mall in hopes of finding with a 3 year old's description. Hee hee hee!
****************

Tonight, around the dinner table.

Everyone: chat chat chat chat chat

James: Barack Obama came to my nursery yesterday.

Me: Oh really? What did he do?

James: He talked.

Me: What else did he do?

James: He sang the "lead me guide me walk beside me" song.

Me: Uncontrollable laughter

Ben: You better go put that on the Blog. Your parents are gonna LOVE that.

Ben and James trying to fly the dragon kite on campus. It didn't work out, we went to Caliches.


James' most recent drawing. A self portrait.

(Ok, so I'm kidding. Granny drew that.)

Grandparent love!

During Spring Break, we traveled to Kansas to visit Ben's parents and after the break my parents came here to visit us. A good time was had by all!

This is what happens after my mom and James hit the bottle. (Ok, Dad. I want my $20.)


Before the drinking.

Granpa Swan, Ben and James playing Candyland!

Grandma Swan and James cheesing for the camera.

Paw Paw obliging James' request to "draw my feet."

Our little boy just turned 3!!!!! Here are some of my not-so-lovely pics from the party at the park that we had for him. He chose "Bob the Builder" this year.

Bob is just like one of the family now.



We couldn't light any candles at the park because of the hurricane type winds we were experiencing. I told him we'd have real candles on his real birthday. He wasn't amused.

The stupid wind was blowing so hard that it knocked over every kid's cup of water, half of their food plates, an industrial size garbage can, and the cake. (It blew the last 1/3 of the cake off the table once we had cut it and passed it out. The box saved it-well kind of.) The table cloth below kept taking flight.

Some of James' friends and mamas.

James taking his turn at whacking Bob.

James' initial reaction to the Bob pinata. I felt that way too as I was sawing into him the night before to fill him. It was stuffed with newspapers from Juarez and I was sure that a kilo of some illegal substance was going to come pouring out. Add that to last year's mari*juana in the garden scare...

The cake that I DID'T make, but should have.

Overheard

(Ben takes James into the bathroom for potty time.)

Ben: Wow, James, that's a lot of pee! Where did all that pee come from?

James: Albuquerque.

(I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.)

If you don't care about potty training, then skip this post.

Well, seven days of potty training done here. No poops in the potty yet. He was doing well with pee until today. We hadn't had a pee accident since last Thursday, and then he had 3 today. Is that normal?

One of the pee incidents today was funny--but we didn't treat it as funny here-I don't want a repeat.

James had been playing with his big Aquadoodle mat and dumping the water from his pens onto it. Next thing I know, I walk into the room and he is standing on it, peeing, watching his pee hit the mat. I say, "JAMES! What are you doing?" His answer, "It turns blue like the water, mommy, see!" Good grief.

We're at the end of the second day of potty training. Can I quit yet?

Well, I guess I won't quit, yet. I've got the timer set for 30 minute increments and I'm hoping to lengthen the time soon. I'm worn out from:

1) Being really excited and enthusiastic about pee.

2) Being really casual and nonchalant about accidents and the subsequent clean up (we've had 3 each day.)

3) Hefting him onto and off of the toilet every 30 minutes or so.

4) Thinking about doing this for the rest of forever.

5) Thinking about what will happen when I actually let him leave the house.

He already told us, "I don't want to be a big boy anymore, give me back my diapers." I wanted to agree, but then I remembered that we'd most likely have to move on to Depends.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day. I wonder what would happen if he peed on the floor at Sam's Club.

On a non-potty related topic...

How do I know what size bicycle to buy for James? We want to get him a bike with training wheels for his birthday next week, but I don't know how to buy a bike. Somebody, anybody, help with this, please?

My Kitchen Helper:

James' Airplane

James' Thomas the Train

Family Night

Most of Family Night was normalish ...but here's how it went down when we went to have lesson time:

Ben: Tonight's lesson is on...

James: No! I want to be the lesson tonight!

Ben: Ok, teach us a lesson.

James: Wait a minute, I'm thinking......(30 seconds later) Tonight the lesson is about going to the Mall. First, we go to the mall. Then we eat at Chick fil A. Then we get a balloon. Then I need ice cream. And that's how you go to the mall. (Disclaimer: we go to the mall MAYBE once a month to walk around and while it does usually lead to Chick Fil A, the other parts I have no idea what he is making up.)

(Ben and Carolyn praise James and try their very hardest not to rupture internal organs from holding in laughter.)

James: Ok, Daddy, now it's your turn to teach us a lesson.

Ben: Ok, tonight's lesson is on the Priesthood. (Teaches a short and simple lesson, highlights blessings for when you are sick... follows up with a few questions.) So James, what can Daddy do to help you when you are not feeling well?

James: You can give me Jelly Beans.

(Ben and Carolyn smile again, sigh, and reteach.)

James: Mommy, now it's your turn to teach us a lesson.

Carolyn: Ok, um, tonight's lesson is on...

James: BAPTISM!

Carolyn: Ok, sure, Baptism is when .....(teach previous lesson on Baptism. Then I decided to expand a bit...) After you are baptized, you will also get a very special blessing so that you can have the Holy Ghost be with you all the time...Then

James: (Crying) I don't want a ghost! I don't want a Ghost! I'm scared!

Carolyn: It's not a scary ghost, it's actually a help...

James: No ghosts at all! I don't want any help! (Crying goes to wailing.)

Ben: It's a good thing, James, it's more like a spirit...

James: NO! I don't want it! (Wailing)

Carolyn: Ok, who wants treats?

Yeah, that stopped the mayhem.

And that, my friends, is a model Family Night. (Snort) They're probably going to ask us to do videos for the church and everything. (Crying from so much laughing) The only thing missing was Jello.

Advice

Do you ever have the irresistible urge to give advice to someone, even when they haven't asked for it? Well, I'm actually asking everyone to open up and spew forth their comments. Tell me anything and everything you've ever wanted to tell someone about Potty Training.

We're going to start potty training James for real after our long road trip. We're kinda practicing right now, but want to do it for real after we get back. Please, pretty please, tell me what I should know!

Let me give you a few particulars...

*He is TOO BIG for a potty chair (already tried that out) so we have to do it on the toilet.

*We have a cushy seat to put on top of the toilet to make it smaller for him, and he is NOT afraid of the flushing.

* I have no problem bribing/rewarding with candy, stickers, larger rewards after a while, whatever.

*I will have 2 weeks off after our road trip is done.

* If we put him on the toilet and tell him to pee, he can pretty much do it on demand.

* I've never read any books on the subject, so if there's something I should know, or something that worked great for you, PLEASE TELL ME!

This kid is funny

I know I haven't posted pics in a million years, but we haven't taken any. So there. I do have to write down the funny things he says, though.

He helped himself to a fun size bag of skittles from the office at Church. I told him to hurry up and get in his car seat so we could leave and THEN I would open the candy for him. I got him buckled in, opened the pack, and then he popped one in his mouth. He says, "Mmm, I can taste the rainbow!" (Seriously, do they still do those ads? I don't think I've seen one for years. Where did he get that from?)

He has added a new phrase when he has to wait for something. "Oh, now I'll never get to..." Seriously cracks me up everytime. As in, "oh, now I'll never get to go to Walmart." or "Oh, now I'll never get to have dinner." All said very dramatically. Would make a teenage girl proud.

This afternoon we were playing on the wii and he did something really well. I told him, "Way to go, Schmoo!" (Our nickname for him.) He looks at me quite seriously and says, "You don't call me Schmoo, you call me James."

First Five Friends Fabulous Freebies!

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me for you!

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1. I make no guarantees that you will love what I make!
2. What I create will be just for you.
3. It’ll be done sometime this calendar year.
4. You have no clue what it’s going to be … it's a complete surprise.
5. You must offer the same deal on your blog to the first 5 people to comment on your "First Five" post. (If you don't have a blog, you must make something for someone after you receive my gift!)

I'll ask for addresses later if I don't have them! Good luck!

This week in 2 year oldisms

I had a bad cold this week and was dragging myself around.

James: Mommy, you need new batteries. Where do I put them? Let's look under here. (Pulls up my shirt in the back.) I'll get the screw driver! (I stopped him at that point.)

We were all playing on the bed and somehow potty humor made it's way into our lives.

James: I'm going to write a letter to Granny. "Dear Granny, I love you, from poop." (?????? Are they just born knowing bodily function jokes?)

Ben asked James what he wanted for lunch yesterday.

James: I'll have chicken nuggets, french fries, a drink, a toy and that will be all, thank you. (Ben doesn't own any Mcdonald's outfits...)

This morning in Stake Conference they were announcing some people being called to new church assignments. The Stake President said something about a Sister Carolyn something or the other.

James: Hey mommy, hey mommy, he's talking to you! (yeah, thank heavens he wasn't.)

Are you kidding me?

Ok, there are AT LEAST as many Spanish speakers in this city as English speakers. Can you tell me why I would get a English/Spanish Flyer at work that says things like this:

Kids are welcome with their parents.
Los cabritos son agradables con los padres.

Are you serious? Who speaks Spanish like that? (Besides my dad.) This is the work of a monolingual weirdo wielding a bilingual dictionary. Couldn't they have asked one of the 50,000 (or more) people in this city that speak Spanish?

(It also says things like, "crecido fuera pesticidas" and "llamada o parada cerca". Lovely, isn't it?)

James is understanding what we mean by "peanut butter breath" "chocolate breath" "onion breath" etc etc etc. He has been using it EXCESSIVELY--as in, he'll watch you carefully to see what you're eating and when you finish and then climb on your lap and tell you what your breath smells like.

He has also expanded this little gem into "oooh, you've got 'work breath'" (when one of us comes back from teaching) or "Albertsons breath" if we've been out shopping. He has also told me that I have "sleeping breath" after I wake up.

I just know, in my heart of hearts, that this is going to come back and bite us on the butt really soon. He is going to snuggle up to one of the lovely nursery leaders and say, "eeew, you've got sacrament breath" or "goldfish breath" or heaven forbid "poopy breath" or something equally charming.

He told me yesterday, "Mommy, your elbows are scratchy! you need lotion now!"

I am worried about the impending "see and say" stage. Kids' filters don't come in until, what, 5 or 6 or 7 years old, right?

You know you're a mom when...

Before I had kids, if I found a brown streak on my arm or clothes I would think, "Huh? I wonder how I got chocolate on me?"

Now that I'm a Mom I think, "Oh man, I hope that's not poop."

"Milestones" and such

James info: 2 Years, 10 months.


I'm not really up to date on what the "2 year old Milestones" are, but I think I have a pretty good sense of what James excels at and what he is lacking. He still needs help on some of the playground equipment, and he is none too interested in using the potty. (We're going to hit that during my long break in March, I think.) He can't peddle his little bike yet and he's hit or miss while catching a ball. I guess most of these things are gross motor skills.


Open topped cups are still iffy, and he spills here and there with spoons.


However,

(here comes the part where half the world may think I'm bragging, the grandparents will be proud, and I'm just keeping records...)


If I load the Nick Jr website for him, he can use the mouse and do what he wants all over the site. He has known all his colors since before he was two (we didn't even teach them to him on purpose) and he can draw great things for his age.


He knows all the upper case letters and most of the numbers 1-10. I guess we should move on to lowercase, huh?


The thing that gets me the most are his verbal skills. He was a LATE talker, but did a lot of catching up and he just amazes us everyday with the things that come out of his mouth. These are some examples of what he says to us:

*Where are we going next... I don't want to go home yet... I want to go somewhere else.

*For my birthday I want *Bob the builder cups and plates and napkins and a cake and a pinata and presents and games. (*Character changes several times a week.)

*I love Mcdonalds, it is my favorite restaurant in the whole world. I want a happy meal with chicken nuggets, french fries, a drink and a toy. Can we go there please?

*Mommy, where is Daddy? I miss my Daddy and I want him to come home NOW!

*Mommy, you be a *horse. Does the horse like carrots? Does the horse like to play? Does the horse want a happy meal? Does the horse like trains? (*Animal always changes and he gets MAD if you don't answer him with the sound of that animal.)

*I don't want a timeout, I want to play right now. I'm going to my room to be mad!

*I want to lick this ketchup off my finger. Can I lick my finger? I'm going to dip my finger in my ketchup again, ok?

*Can we go in the storeroom to get a snack? I want to pick it out. You don't get my snack, mama.

*That food (or whatever) made me sick. I need to see a Doctor. The doctor will look in my mouth and my ears and I will be all better. (He even told my mom, "I'm sick. I need to go to the hospital.")

And today's favorite: anytime I've given him anything today he has responded, "Why, thank you, Mommy." I know he has to be copying someone, but it is sooo cute.

He has also started inventing stories, often to cover his own hide or to make his version of events more interesting. (He told me that he and Ben went to Target to buy me a present. True. He also told me they stopped and got popcorn, a drink, candy and other refreshments. Not true.)

I am actually beginning to understand why people would want to study early childhood development. I LOVE THIS AGE!

I was tutoring at my apartment yesterday morning (which I rarely do at home) and so I was trying to keep James occupied while I taught the oh-so-enthused-awake-too-early-teenaged-boy about verb conjugations. James was in the computer room playing on the Nick Jr website. (It really is amazing to see him use the mouse to play games and move throughout the site. Geekdom here we come...) Anyway, I heard him dancing around and singing to a Dora music video and I thought I'd peek in and see the cutie.

Not only was he dancing around and singing, he was also clutching my last Godiva chocolate bar in his hot little hand. Completely unwrapped. Dark chocolate all over face and hands, he says, "Hi Mommy, I LOVE this chocolate!" (Continues dancing and singing and eating.) All I could do was laugh out loud and wish I had the video camera out.

Valentine's is tomorrow. Maybe cupid will bring me a yummy replacement :)

I tried to make my birthday funny so that my niece, Chelsea, could get some enjoyment out of my blog this week, but nothing doing. It was a lovely two day event! On Thursday, I was cooked for and pampered and all that Jazz. My class surprised me with flowers and balloons and candy. James and Ben gave me presents and I got lots of birthday emails and phone calls and cards. One funny thing that did happen... I got an unsigned birthday card in the mail. Cracks me up--almost like a prank phone call, but nothing perverse.

On Friday, we set up a marathon babysitter and headed over to El Paso. Per my request (and with free movie passes in hand) we saw two chick flicks in a row! I cannot recommend "He's just not that into you" But we really liked "New in Town".) Ben was a sport in two theaters full of women laughing, gasping, and saying things like, "oh no he didn't!" Anyway, afterwards we headed over for a late dinner at PF Changs. I love that place! It was an awesome date!