Kids say...

As I walk into the office, James yells, "Mommy, don't look at what I'm doing! Go away!"

***
Me: I don't think I want to know why this is wet.

James: It's just cause I peed on it.

***
James comes into our room at 6am and pokes me awake, "Mommy, it's so lonely in my room. Only one person sleeps there and two people sleep here. I'm alone." (insert pouting here.)

***

While playing Wii anything, "I've got MAD SKILLZ!" If either Ben and or I play badly, "Oh, that's too bad, you've got Sad Skillz."

***

He's very sassy mouthed lately. He often says, "Mommy, you already told me that and I don't want to hear it again. Stop talking." Then the timeout starts.

***

He came into our room last night shivering because he had a fever. He says, "I....I...I...can't...can't...stttttooopp...wwwiggling." Poor baby.

Vomit and an apology to my mother

When I was a kid, I would get the stomach flu occasionally. Sometimes, when it struck at night, I remember the following scenario.

Me (shaking my mom to wake her): Mom, I just threw up.

Mom: (In a half asleep daze): Where?! Did you throw up on the carpet? Your bed? In the hallway? The bathroom rugs? Where?!

Me: I made it to the toilet.

Mom: Oh, ok. Poor baby, how are you feeling?

I always thought it was hilarious that she inquired about the furnishings first. When I was older and devious, I would bring these little stories up at opportune moments (shopping, etc.) as a way to secure things I wanted.

Evil, evil Carolyn. Sorry, Mom.

Last week, James had the stomach flu and yeah, I was quite occupied with every surface that kid was throwing up on. Our bed and bedding, the carpet, the towels, pillows, clothes, etc. Man, that kid was puking every 20-30 mins all day. He wasn't showing any signs of dehydration, but we worried about him because he couldn't keep ANY liquids down. He fell asleep around 6:30pm and we called his ped. She said to let him rest for a couple of hours and then give him pedilyte again. If he couldn't keep that down, then we should take him to urgent care.

Well, lo and behold, we had to go to urgent care. Except all the urgent cares closed at 9pm so we had to take him to the ER. It was actually a delightful visit to the ER. Yep, I said delightful. There was not 1 person in the waiting room and they got us in immediately. James was assessed and they gave him some meds to stop the puking. After the medicine worked its magic, they gave him water and it stayed down, yay!

The medicine turned him into a total goober. He took the disposable vomit bag and turned it into a puppet, a hat and other fashion accessories. When the doctor came in to check on him, I swear he was batting his beautiful lashes and practically asking for her phone number.

We went to the El Paso zoo a couple of weeks ago. It's not a great zoo, but we had a good time.

It was weird

Monday was so weird this week. It had the potential to be quite stressful since Ben was out of town and it was the first day of the (ESL) semester, but all these strange things kept me entertained.

Before I got to work, I found out that one of my students is here b/c of political asylum. Said student was being hunted by some unsavory characters in their country. I got a notice that a film company is shooting a documentary about this student for the Discovery Channel and that they would most likely be filming in ESL. I have two questions....If people wanted to shoot you down, why would you want to appear on national TV and Can you please put a little black square over my face? I guess we'll be out of Las Cruces by the time they finish and air it, but really? I like life.

I got to class and met my new and returning students. I was thinking one of my students had a twitch because everytime I looked in his direction he winked at me. I observed him from afar and realized that that, no, he didn't have a twitch, he just likes to wink when he answers my questions about English. Lovely. WHY?

After class I was walking through the cafeteria and noticed a guy eating his lunch. That would be pretty normal, except he was eating noodles and veggies with a fork right out of a Walmart sack. No container, no plate, just a big ole bag of stir fry out of the plastic sack. Why? I really almost stopped him to ask WHY?!?!?!

As I walked home from class I noticed that my neighbors' cars are now advertising a lovely new business: Dog Poo Cleaners. The thing is, I'm not even kidding. Each of their cars has those big advertisements on all sides announcing that they will come clean up dog poo at your house. I don't know if that means carpets or grass but WHY?

James' first talk in Primary

Today was James' first talk in Primary. The topic was "Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me." Yesterday we helped him decide what he wanted to say and we planned to have him hold the pictures while Ben whispered in his ear, but he informed us that he could 'do it all by himself!' He read his own talk in Primary. He was afraid of the microphone at first, but as soon as they turned it off, he did just fine. (I was teaching Gospel Doctrine so I couldn't be there to see it.)

We can't take credit for his reading; we continue to be amazed ourselves. I think it's a combination of Leap Frog DVDS, Starfall.com, Pbskids.com and his BIG OL' NOGGIN! The really good thing about him reading his own talk is that there was no room for improvisation. He didn't have a chance to say something embarrassing like, "My mommy likes to watch ICarly." or "My daddy snores like a chainsaw."

For Family Night Ben taught a lesson about "scriptures" since we just gave James his first set on Sunday. We were examining the books when...

James: Hey, my name is on this book!

Ben: Yes, it's the King James version of the Bible.

James: I'm the king of the Bible? HEY! I'M THE KING OF THE BIBLE! I'M THE KING OF THE BIBLE. I'M THE KING OF THE BIIIIIIIBBBBBBLLLLLEEEE! (Runs around the room like a chicken with his head cut off.)

Ben: Come back! We're not done talking about the scriptures.

James: I'M THE KING OF THE BIBLE!!!!!

(Finally got him calmed down to listen to the rest. I'm pretty sure the only thing he got out of it was that he is the King of the Bible!)

Someone save me

James: Hey, let's play the gas game!

Ben: How do you play it?

James: Whoever makes the most toots wins!

Ben: *gasping and not able to breathe from laughing so hard*

Me: Welcome to manhood.

(As I'm typing this, James is reading over my shoulder insisting that I write that HE had the most toots and that HE won. It's true.)

First Day of Primary!

Tried to get a decent pic of James today for his first day of Primary. His was happy but quite disinterested in posing. I was *told* that he was really well behaved today, but it's probable that's what they tell all the mamas of the Sunbeams. His class shouldn't be too bad since it's just him, his Bff Lilly and one other cutie boy.

We got him an inexpensive set of scriptures and Daddy gave him his case.

Sniff. He's growing up. When we were walking to the car after church, this is how it went down:

Me: Did you have an awesome day at Primary?

James: Yep.

Me: How was your teacher?

James: Really nice.

Me: How was the class?

James: Same ol' Same ol'.

(Am I already raising a teenager?!?!)

Christmas 2009

The first thing you may (or may not) notice as you look at these pics is that James is wearing pjs in every single one. We spent Christmas in Kansas this year and we passed around the gift that keeps on giving: Stomach flu. James got sick the 2nd day we were there, and as he was getting well, Ben got it; and as he was getting well, Grandma got it. (Knocking on some serious wood here: I never got it.)

We had fun despite all the sickies and enjoyed our time not only with Grandma and Grandpa, but also Uncle Jared, Aunt Nolita and COUSINS! James was once again in cousin heaven!

James jumping up to express his excitement about the marble run he got for Christmas. Daddy always makes the best designs. (The dark area on his pjs is from vapor rub...)

Ben at the height of his sickiness, accompanied by Grandpa at naptime.

James looking sicky. Just included this pic because this is how Joshua spent his holiday...in perpetual motion!

James yelling out, "Merry Christmas, everybody!" as we were opening gifts.

James was a bit nervous about Rocky the Robot Truck. We all LOVE this toy! Worth the money!

The best way I could capture the happiness on Christmas morning.

Kids table on Christmas Eve. James was still feeling icky and would only eat Asparagus for dinner.

Elizabeth is a dear cousin! She spent many patient hours doing things with James.

Grandpa Swan gave James his sign from his parking place at the library. What an awesome gift!

Opening gifts with cousins....Joseph entertained that child forever!

Christmas morning waiting for the presents to be passed out.

This Christmas was full of magic for James. Anytime we drove past a house with ANY minimal Christmas lights, he yelled at the top of his lungs, "LOOK! THEY ARE GETTING READY FOR CHRISTMAS!" or simply, "CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!" It was enough to make us almost wreck several times. I tried to use the whole, "Santa is watching you" threat sparingly-and it worked! He loved talking to the Santa at the mall in LJ over Tthanksgiving and once again at the church Christmas party. When I asked if he had thanked Santa for his gift at the party, he insisted in waiting in line again so that he could tell Santa thank you up close and personally.

And true to his recent trend of declaring everything the "best _______ ever!", all day Christmas he declared, "This is the BEST Christmas in my whole life!"

Sympathy

James: Poor Baby Jesus.

Me: What's wrong? (Thinking maybe he would tell me something profound regarding the Christmas Story)

James: He's so sad.

Me: Why is he so sad?

James: Because he has to sleep on toilet paper. Poor baby.


(The manger below was made from half a toilet paper roll.)

You can't win them all

James continues to be super competitive. I can't remember if this started with preschool or not. Anyway, everything is always, "I did it fastest, I win!" or "I did it better, I win!" or "I got there first, I win!"

This afternoon we were all lounging around and James says, "I know a game we can play. The person who wakes up in the morning wins!"

I hope everyone who reads this is a winner tomorrow and for many mornings to come!

Annual Pics

I'm really happy about how pics turned out this year. I told them I didn't want any fakey fake backgrounds and minimal props. No sleds, no presents, no balls, no other cheesy studio stuff. Here's a few of the best:

(I guess one good pic with a fallen greek column is ok.)

Ben was getting James dressed this morning and they had the following conversation:

J: I want some Bob the Builder underwear.

B: I don't know if they make those kind.

J: Just go to WWW dot Bob the Builder Underwear dot com and look for them there.

(This is from back in November. Not sure why it didn't post.)

I'm not a big fan of the early morning. I'm not up singing The Day Dawn is Breaking while it's actually breaking. The boy has made sure that I got a couple of early morning laughs this week.


Monday morning I'm in the shower before work. Ben is out on a walk so I *think* I'm going to have some solitude.


James throws open the bathroom door and yells, "THERES A BUG IN MY ROOM I WET THE BED AND I NEED CEREAL!" Well good morning to you too.


This morning James walks into our room at 6:00 and starts poking me in the back while saying, "Mommy, my butt itches!"


I guess there are a lot worse things he could tell me in the morning, so I'll be grateful for what I got.

Blue's Clues

I wanted to take a pic of James in his Blue's Clues shirt with his BC pals. Something made him start laughing and he gave me some real smiles.

He was really tickled...

And then he wasn't.

ESL

Usually the stories I share regarding my ESL classes are generated by the students. For example, in my morning class today the students were comparing and contrasting what you can/can't do in the U.S. with what you can/can't do in their home countries. Here were some of the tibits submitted:

In the U.S. you can't be a prostitute. It's not legal.

In the U.S. you can buy alcohol and guns. (Sounds like they've spent some time in TX)

In the U.S. you can't pay police for your tickets. They don't like money.

In the U.S. you can't little. (I later found out this was supposed to be "litter".)

In the U.S. you can't hit your wife. (And I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I won't get beat....)

In the U.S. the government follows the laws. (Well, sometimes, maybe, depends...)


Anyway, today was a bonus day, because the student teacher assigned to my night class yelled out, "EVERYONE SHOWER TOGETHER NOW!" I was only half paying attention in the back until I heard that and finally realized she meant to say, "Everyone, say 'shower' together right now." (English is her 3rd language.) Thankfully it is a beginner class and the only one raising their eyebrows and giggling was me.

I'm pretty sure we'll be sticking with the bed guardrail for sometime.

This week in James land:

We were playing wii tennis with him. He likes to change up his mii (character) constantly. At the time, his character had long brown hair, facial hair and was wearing a white shirt. He stops midgame to say, "Hey, it's Jesus playing tennis!" Great, just great.

At Chili's on Friday night we were all sitting there enjoying a family dinner when out of NOWHERE James says, "First boys kiss girls, then the boys run away and then the girls cry." What the heck? I'm pretty sure they're not teaching this at preschool or on Nick Jr. This statement pretty much sums up 50% of dating relationships, right? Ben counseled, "Skip the kissing part and just run away."

We've been trying to get an idea of what he wants for Christmas so we can tell the various Santas in our life. Lately when I ask him what he would like for Christmas he kinda looks at me as if I should know and says, "Mommy, I just want everything, ok?"

This is what crazy looks like

This is what James was doing after Trunk or Treat activities. (Disclaimer: I was out of state, you can't blame the dirty house on me!)

Halloween activities

James had a Bob the Builder birthday party this year, and suprisingly enough, he's stuck with Bob all these long months....Since I went to TX for the funeral, Ben and James did Halloween and all its many events on their own.


Getting ready to trick or treat



A cheesy Bob

With Lilly at the Trunk or Treat. So sad the photo is blurry, they are sooo cute! Lilly's mama made that AMAZING Tinkerbell costume!

At the Preschool Party

All the kiddos who attend the preschool on different mornings. We LOVE our school!

It's our first Jack o Lantern, Charlie Brown!

After going to the Pumpkin Patch, we had to carve one up! James told us he was "so excited" to take out the guts, but once he got a load of them, he changed that tune rather quickly. He wouldn't touch the stuff because "he didn't want to get dirty." Ha! A three year old boy who doesn't want to get dirty. Whatever.



Helping Daddy draw the "Vampire Pumpkin"



Watching carefully so that Daddy "does it right"

Doing the happy pumpkin dance?

With his eyes all aglow in the dark

Smiling like his new vampire friend