Are you kidding me?

Ok, there are AT LEAST as many Spanish speakers in this city as English speakers. Can you tell me why I would get a English/Spanish Flyer at work that says things like this:

Kids are welcome with their parents.
Los cabritos son agradables con los padres.

Are you serious? Who speaks Spanish like that? (Besides my dad.) This is the work of a monolingual weirdo wielding a bilingual dictionary. Couldn't they have asked one of the 50,000 (or more) people in this city that speak Spanish?

(It also says things like, "crecido fuera pesticidas" and "llamada o parada cerca". Lovely, isn't it?)

James is understanding what we mean by "peanut butter breath" "chocolate breath" "onion breath" etc etc etc. He has been using it EXCESSIVELY--as in, he'll watch you carefully to see what you're eating and when you finish and then climb on your lap and tell you what your breath smells like.

He has also expanded this little gem into "oooh, you've got 'work breath'" (when one of us comes back from teaching) or "Albertsons breath" if we've been out shopping. He has also told me that I have "sleeping breath" after I wake up.

I just know, in my heart of hearts, that this is going to come back and bite us on the butt really soon. He is going to snuggle up to one of the lovely nursery leaders and say, "eeew, you've got sacrament breath" or "goldfish breath" or heaven forbid "poopy breath" or something equally charming.

He told me yesterday, "Mommy, your elbows are scratchy! you need lotion now!"

I am worried about the impending "see and say" stage. Kids' filters don't come in until, what, 5 or 6 or 7 years old, right?

You know you're a mom when...

Before I had kids, if I found a brown streak on my arm or clothes I would think, "Huh? I wonder how I got chocolate on me?"

Now that I'm a Mom I think, "Oh man, I hope that's not poop."

"Milestones" and such

James info: 2 Years, 10 months.


I'm not really up to date on what the "2 year old Milestones" are, but I think I have a pretty good sense of what James excels at and what he is lacking. He still needs help on some of the playground equipment, and he is none too interested in using the potty. (We're going to hit that during my long break in March, I think.) He can't peddle his little bike yet and he's hit or miss while catching a ball. I guess most of these things are gross motor skills.


Open topped cups are still iffy, and he spills here and there with spoons.


However,

(here comes the part where half the world may think I'm bragging, the grandparents will be proud, and I'm just keeping records...)


If I load the Nick Jr website for him, he can use the mouse and do what he wants all over the site. He has known all his colors since before he was two (we didn't even teach them to him on purpose) and he can draw great things for his age.


He knows all the upper case letters and most of the numbers 1-10. I guess we should move on to lowercase, huh?


The thing that gets me the most are his verbal skills. He was a LATE talker, but did a lot of catching up and he just amazes us everyday with the things that come out of his mouth. These are some examples of what he says to us:

*Where are we going next... I don't want to go home yet... I want to go somewhere else.

*For my birthday I want *Bob the builder cups and plates and napkins and a cake and a pinata and presents and games. (*Character changes several times a week.)

*I love Mcdonalds, it is my favorite restaurant in the whole world. I want a happy meal with chicken nuggets, french fries, a drink and a toy. Can we go there please?

*Mommy, where is Daddy? I miss my Daddy and I want him to come home NOW!

*Mommy, you be a *horse. Does the horse like carrots? Does the horse like to play? Does the horse want a happy meal? Does the horse like trains? (*Animal always changes and he gets MAD if you don't answer him with the sound of that animal.)

*I don't want a timeout, I want to play right now. I'm going to my room to be mad!

*I want to lick this ketchup off my finger. Can I lick my finger? I'm going to dip my finger in my ketchup again, ok?

*Can we go in the storeroom to get a snack? I want to pick it out. You don't get my snack, mama.

*That food (or whatever) made me sick. I need to see a Doctor. The doctor will look in my mouth and my ears and I will be all better. (He even told my mom, "I'm sick. I need to go to the hospital.")

And today's favorite: anytime I've given him anything today he has responded, "Why, thank you, Mommy." I know he has to be copying someone, but it is sooo cute.

He has also started inventing stories, often to cover his own hide or to make his version of events more interesting. (He told me that he and Ben went to Target to buy me a present. True. He also told me they stopped and got popcorn, a drink, candy and other refreshments. Not true.)

I am actually beginning to understand why people would want to study early childhood development. I LOVE THIS AGE!

I was tutoring at my apartment yesterday morning (which I rarely do at home) and so I was trying to keep James occupied while I taught the oh-so-enthused-awake-too-early-teenaged-boy about verb conjugations. James was in the computer room playing on the Nick Jr website. (It really is amazing to see him use the mouse to play games and move throughout the site. Geekdom here we come...) Anyway, I heard him dancing around and singing to a Dora music video and I thought I'd peek in and see the cutie.

Not only was he dancing around and singing, he was also clutching my last Godiva chocolate bar in his hot little hand. Completely unwrapped. Dark chocolate all over face and hands, he says, "Hi Mommy, I LOVE this chocolate!" (Continues dancing and singing and eating.) All I could do was laugh out loud and wish I had the video camera out.

Valentine's is tomorrow. Maybe cupid will bring me a yummy replacement :)

I tried to make my birthday funny so that my niece, Chelsea, could get some enjoyment out of my blog this week, but nothing doing. It was a lovely two day event! On Thursday, I was cooked for and pampered and all that Jazz. My class surprised me with flowers and balloons and candy. James and Ben gave me presents and I got lots of birthday emails and phone calls and cards. One funny thing that did happen... I got an unsigned birthday card in the mail. Cracks me up--almost like a prank phone call, but nothing perverse.

On Friday, we set up a marathon babysitter and headed over to El Paso. Per my request (and with free movie passes in hand) we saw two chick flicks in a row! I cannot recommend "He's just not that into you" But we really liked "New in Town".) Ben was a sport in two theaters full of women laughing, gasping, and saying things like, "oh no he didn't!" Anyway, afterwards we headed over for a late dinner at PF Changs. I love that place! It was an awesome date!

Your Highness?

"Does your highness hurt?" "Ok, what's wrong with your highness?"

If you were a fly on the wall of our house, you would have heard those phrases lately. We're not raising royalty here. If I were to spell what James meant if would go like this:

"Does your hinus hurt?" "What's wrong with your hinus?"

Due to the prolonged rash he had we did a lot of discussing his hiney and another anatomical word that when combined with hiney = hinus. He came up with that hybrid all on his own. One day he was just walking around, grabbed his diaper and said, "Owie, my hinus is owie!"

Ever since, I've not thought of royalty the same.

So what would you think if you were sitting quietly in church and all of a sudden heard a child yell out, "MOMMY, EAT MY BRAINS!"

As soon as you know, let me know so I can get over it.

(We just taught James about his brain and his heart this week. He calls kissing him a bunch of times in the same place "eating".)