My Kitchen Helper:

James' Airplane

James' Thomas the Train

Family Night

Most of Family Night was normalish ...but here's how it went down when we went to have lesson time:

Ben: Tonight's lesson is on...

James: No! I want to be the lesson tonight!

Ben: Ok, teach us a lesson.

James: Wait a minute, I'm thinking......(30 seconds later) Tonight the lesson is about going to the Mall. First, we go to the mall. Then we eat at Chick fil A. Then we get a balloon. Then I need ice cream. And that's how you go to the mall. (Disclaimer: we go to the mall MAYBE once a month to walk around and while it does usually lead to Chick Fil A, the other parts I have no idea what he is making up.)

(Ben and Carolyn praise James and try their very hardest not to rupture internal organs from holding in laughter.)

James: Ok, Daddy, now it's your turn to teach us a lesson.

Ben: Ok, tonight's lesson is on the Priesthood. (Teaches a short and simple lesson, highlights blessings for when you are sick... follows up with a few questions.) So James, what can Daddy do to help you when you are not feeling well?

James: You can give me Jelly Beans.

(Ben and Carolyn smile again, sigh, and reteach.)

James: Mommy, now it's your turn to teach us a lesson.

Carolyn: Ok, um, tonight's lesson is on...

James: BAPTISM!

Carolyn: Ok, sure, Baptism is when .....(teach previous lesson on Baptism. Then I decided to expand a bit...) After you are baptized, you will also get a very special blessing so that you can have the Holy Ghost be with you all the time...Then

James: (Crying) I don't want a ghost! I don't want a Ghost! I'm scared!

Carolyn: It's not a scary ghost, it's actually a help...

James: No ghosts at all! I don't want any help! (Crying goes to wailing.)

Ben: It's a good thing, James, it's more like a spirit...

James: NO! I don't want it! (Wailing)

Carolyn: Ok, who wants treats?

Yeah, that stopped the mayhem.

And that, my friends, is a model Family Night. (Snort) They're probably going to ask us to do videos for the church and everything. (Crying from so much laughing) The only thing missing was Jello.

Advice

Do you ever have the irresistible urge to give advice to someone, even when they haven't asked for it? Well, I'm actually asking everyone to open up and spew forth their comments. Tell me anything and everything you've ever wanted to tell someone about Potty Training.

We're going to start potty training James for real after our long road trip. We're kinda practicing right now, but want to do it for real after we get back. Please, pretty please, tell me what I should know!

Let me give you a few particulars...

*He is TOO BIG for a potty chair (already tried that out) so we have to do it on the toilet.

*We have a cushy seat to put on top of the toilet to make it smaller for him, and he is NOT afraid of the flushing.

* I have no problem bribing/rewarding with candy, stickers, larger rewards after a while, whatever.

*I will have 2 weeks off after our road trip is done.

* If we put him on the toilet and tell him to pee, he can pretty much do it on demand.

* I've never read any books on the subject, so if there's something I should know, or something that worked great for you, PLEASE TELL ME!

This kid is funny

I know I haven't posted pics in a million years, but we haven't taken any. So there. I do have to write down the funny things he says, though.

He helped himself to a fun size bag of skittles from the office at Church. I told him to hurry up and get in his car seat so we could leave and THEN I would open the candy for him. I got him buckled in, opened the pack, and then he popped one in his mouth. He says, "Mmm, I can taste the rainbow!" (Seriously, do they still do those ads? I don't think I've seen one for years. Where did he get that from?)

He has added a new phrase when he has to wait for something. "Oh, now I'll never get to..." Seriously cracks me up everytime. As in, "oh, now I'll never get to go to Walmart." or "Oh, now I'll never get to have dinner." All said very dramatically. Would make a teenage girl proud.

This afternoon we were playing on the wii and he did something really well. I told him, "Way to go, Schmoo!" (Our nickname for him.) He looks at me quite seriously and says, "You don't call me Schmoo, you call me James."

First Five Friends Fabulous Freebies!

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me for you!

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1. I make no guarantees that you will love what I make!
2. What I create will be just for you.
3. It’ll be done sometime this calendar year.
4. You have no clue what it’s going to be … it's a complete surprise.
5. You must offer the same deal on your blog to the first 5 people to comment on your "First Five" post. (If you don't have a blog, you must make something for someone after you receive my gift!)

I'll ask for addresses later if I don't have them! Good luck!

This week in 2 year oldisms

I had a bad cold this week and was dragging myself around.

James: Mommy, you need new batteries. Where do I put them? Let's look under here. (Pulls up my shirt in the back.) I'll get the screw driver! (I stopped him at that point.)

We were all playing on the bed and somehow potty humor made it's way into our lives.

James: I'm going to write a letter to Granny. "Dear Granny, I love you, from poop." (?????? Are they just born knowing bodily function jokes?)

Ben asked James what he wanted for lunch yesterday.

James: I'll have chicken nuggets, french fries, a drink, a toy and that will be all, thank you. (Ben doesn't own any Mcdonald's outfits...)

This morning in Stake Conference they were announcing some people being called to new church assignments. The Stake President said something about a Sister Carolyn something or the other.

James: Hey mommy, hey mommy, he's talking to you! (yeah, thank heavens he wasn't.)